When Yes means No
That might sound like a strange title “When Yes means No”. If you read a little further I’m sure you’ll recognize it. In fact if you’re honest you’ve done it yourself. Hands up, confession – I’ve done it too!
We’ve all been in meetings or on a conference call were everyone is excitedly making their point. What’s often happening is that we’re trying to get an opening so that you can make our own. Right?
So, what do we all do to silence whoever is talking so we can say what we want to say. We say “Yes” – to get agreement – and then we say “BUT” – to move on to our point.
This is when YES means NO.
The reason for raising it here is that it’s a habit that closes our minds to other people’s ideas. We become so focused on our idea that we stop listening to others. What we really end up saying is NO – your idea is not as good as mine.
Next time there’s a “Yes, but” on your lips catch it a stop it before it comes out. If your really mean “No” then say so; and have a proper conversation about the idea or issue. Then move on.
If you really do mean “Yes”, then say it without qualification.
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There is an interesting technique people use in this scenario. Practice “Yes, and” wherever Yes and But is coming on your mind. This could help not just keeping us in the positive frame of mind, also provides an opportunity to build on an idea.
Loved your latest post, by the way.